My wife and I are pregnant! Thanks to modern medicine, some luck and prayers, we, a same sex couple, are pregnant. We have done the big announcement, which has been exciting, but overwhelming to be honest. After keeping something so big a secret for months, having it out in the open is still a funny feeling.
I’ve decided to write down our story. Not only would it help me remember all the details, but it might clarify any questions that friends and family might have. Since there are so many of you, this seems much easier than searching out each and every aunt, cousin, etc. Feel free to ask questions in the comments.
When we moved into our new home in September 2015, we had been married only a year. I told Dayna that since having a whirlwind last few years (planning a wedding and honeymoon, selling and then buying a house) that we could wait another year before starting on the wild journey of having a baby. I lied. It was actually her idea to end the wait. I remember that it was March- and in the middle of a long talk Dayna says “Why are we waiting?” When all our reasons didn’t seem like reason enough, we decided to go ahead and start the process of growing our family.
The first step was for me to get a referral from my primary care provider to see a specialist at the hospital on base (also, here is a corresponding post with some insight for any same-sex couples to commiserate). We are stationed at Joint Base Lewis- McChord and so we go to Madigan Army Hospital, only 20 minutes away. Madigan is one of five army hospitals that has a built- in infertility clinic. We lucked out.
Then we got to meet our new fertility doctor who gave us a rough timeline of what to expect when conceiving through intrauterine insemination (IUI):
- Get all my blood tests and x-rays out of the way.
- Start tracking my ovulation.
- Pick a separate clinic to be inseminated.
- Pick a sperm donor.
- Regroup and go over my lab results and create an official “plan” with my fertility doctor, who would then put in a referral to the clinic of our choice.
- Call the clinic when I am ovulating.
- Get inseminated.
- Wait two weeks to take a pregnancy test.
We were told that my chances of conceiving through IUI, even as a young, healthy, non-smoker, would be 1 in 5 (which are the same odds as a heterosexual couple conceiving the “old-fashioned” way). We were also told to expect it to take three to six months. We feel like we hit the jackpot when it worked on the first try.