A dreary day

Well. The day that our family has been dreading for months is finally here. We sent Dayna off to South Carolina at 2:30am this morning. She will be gone for the next two months while she completes drill sergeant school. I don’t think either of us has stopped crying all morning. In fact I made a short list of things that have made me spontaneously burst into tears:

  • Bringing our son into our bed for his routine morning kisses and snuggles and looking over at her side of the bed that she had already made.
  • Watching and re-watching and RE-watching the video that she recorded for Lucas.
  • Opening the fridge and seeing the peaches that she was so excited about from the market.
  • Spotting the “bouquet” of flowers (weeds) that Lucas and I made for her. She kept it in water on the counter.
  • Drinking my coffee without her.
  • Folding the laundry and realizing that this will be the last load that I do for a while with her clothes in it. Turns out I’m too sentimental about her tee shirts and I may have buried my head in each one and cried. That being said, now I might just wash them and then I can fold them again, thus fixing my original dilemma of not getting to wash her clothes anymore.

To top off  my already dreary day, something that ends sentences came today and I was completely caught off guard, I’m having an extra lovely bout of adult acne, and I don’t feel like cheering myself up. I feel like wallowing. No one wants to be around this girl today, in fact I don’t really want to be around me today. I am headed to pick up Dayna’s car at the airport. And it has just started to rain.


1 thought on “A dreary day

  1. You made it through the day. You and Lucas both. My loves. My light.
    I felt the same way today. Every time I looked at a picture of you two, heard a baby laugh, thought about how I spent my final moments with each of you… smelled something that reminded me of you… I cried…no, I sobbed. I’m crying now. I will cry for two months until I get to see and hold you both again… but we will see each other again. We will be together again. We will feel whole again. And until then, you have my heart, my soul, and all of my love.

    For now, let’s wallow. If it means something, embrace the sadness. Let’s wallow. Soon we will look up from our sad hearts and see we are sad because we so full of love. So really, we are not sad.

    We are just overwhelmed with love.

    I love you. Always.

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